THE RIGHT BODY

You would expect the most important thing to become a successful author is that you can write well, but this is not the whole story (whether well told or not).

In order to get the largest advances from a publisher, what you need is to have been born into the right body! With this, you will get free publicity and pre-sale interest even before you’ve written a word.

Just look at Prince Harry who’s been given a multi million dollar deal for books yet to be produced. Of course, you are meant to divulge all your secrets, spill the dirt on your family and maybe sell your soul to the devil. But you will get a book deal!

Obviously, no one is going to ask me to sell the secrets of my family because I wasn’t born into royalty. That was just accidental – I am sure I was meant to be, but I must have been standing behind a pillar when they were handing out soul assignments.

If you’re not selling secrets, then trading on your name can be a bit trickier. Sarah Ferguson falls into this category with her children’s books. The familiarity of the name can bring in the publicity, but if the story doesn’t appeal to its readers, the book may not be successful. Certainly writing children’s books at a time your ex-husband (Prince Andrew) is being pursued on sexual assault charges on a minor is a great juxtaposition!

Unfortunately, the advantage or disadvantage of where we’re born is something no one has control over. So, I won’t be anticipating any huge advances from prospective publishers, just yet. However, maybe if there is a next life, I’ll get a chance then.